In our personal and professional relationships, we have a number of choices. How we respond or react to unfortunate, unexpected or stressful situations is a choice. I can be reactive, directive, constructive, negative, positive or even destructive. The situation can be diffused and corrected with a proactive, instructive, constructive approach. Meeting on a bridge where there is understanding or agreement or both is far better than negatively shouting across a chasm.

A constructive approach is a big improvement on destructive but being proactive (honest, authentic and clear) can reduce the tension and possibly avoid the stressful situation altogether. If you find yourself feeling uneasy or resentful, think through what is irking you, why it is bothering you and then let your family member or colleague know in a respectful and constructive way. ” I feel insecure when you don’t appreciate what I am doing.” ” I understand what you are…