A wet and rainy Easter Sunday sees me sitting around in my PJ’s. It’s 1 pm in the afternoon.
Sipping coffee and going through old photo’s – so many memories.
In Easter’s past, at least since moving to Bribie, we’d have been round to Mum and Dad’s for lunch or afternoon tea. But this year, there is no Dad to share Easter with.
Nothing has been spoken; rather we have all chosen to sit quietly in our own spaces. I guess none of us feels much like having a get together. Instead we reflect. Remember.
I choose to write as a way to express how I feel. I always teach to “write it down and make it real” – this is exactly what I’m doing now.
I guess as the years pass, it will become easier. It’s not even 3 months since Dad departed this earthly realm.
Grief affects everyone differently
When Dad passed, I was so busy keeping everything going within the family.
Little chores that needed to be done for Mum, small details to take care of with the funeral home (although Mum had arranged the bulk of things well ahead of time – being the organised and proactive person that she is)
Keeping Wayne from having a total breakdown and mental health relapse. It was not easy.
Vivid stand out moments for me include:
- The afternoon before the funeral my car had a flat tire. There I was stuck outside the church. Thankfully Robert came, changed it for me and I was able to get mobile. I had things to do and places to be!
- My cousin, Cheryl, flew in and her presence helped a great deal. We’re probably more like sisters than cousins. I was there when both her parents died, and here she was for me.
- Taking Wayne to the church service for Dad. He was doped up with valium. We were the last to enter the church and the sight of the coffin draped in the UN flag was close to our undoing.
- The visual slide show of memories had Wayne smiling. Yet after that, he needed to get outside. I walked out the side entrance with him. Dad would understand. After a few moments we went back inside.
- Walking behind the coffin as it left the church and the service ended, Wayne held onto me tightly, like a little boy again, and I was his Mummy. As the hearse drew away, we jumped in the car and came home. No time to speak with those who came to pay their respects.
- Sasha was a tower of strength. She and Cheryl looked after our visitors – Dad’s cousins, Aunty Jessie and Uncle Johnny. A few hours later and Wayne rallied. He wanted to go and see the family.
The good news
Wayne is doing well. He is coping and improving day by day and I know his Grandad would be super proud of him. Dad always loved Wayne to bits and as the very first grandchild, only grandson, they shared a very special bond.
Mum is feeling much better now. She’s spent quite a bit of time going up and down to visit Ginger, her bridesmaid. They’ve known each other since they were young nurses in Malaysia and have enjoyed being with each other more these last couple of months – either Mum staying with Ginger or vice versa. So nice to see the enduring friendship and comfort they bring each other in their twilight years.
Sasha continues to write each day. It truly is her passion. I believe she brings all her life experiences into her writing and each work is getting stronger. I am excited about her upcoming books. Not allowed to talk more about them!
Me. Admittedly it has been a struggle to concentrate but thanks to resilience, time management, strategic planning and ability to focus despite challenges, I’ve kept chugging on.
Family – my precious blessing
I’ve been blessed to have a truly great family. We understand each other. There is no need for show and words.
When we need each other we are there. Blessed that we all now live so close to each other. All of us in the same place after so many years scattered across the globe.
We are the family we are thanks to the teaching, examples and influence of our parents. Dad is gone but his teachings are always with us. I have beautiful memories buried in my heart.